Life

Joe Paterno passed away today. This strikes me as a terribly tragic end to a terribly tragic story. It makes me so sad. Partially, of course, because I'm a big football fan, Big Ten football to be precise. But it's so much more than that. It's because a man who was for so long looked up to by so many has gone out on such a sour note. It's because an unparalleled career was tainted by one enormous mistake. It's because this could happen to any of us.

It's very revealing to me that Coach Paterno died so soon after he was fired. Yes, he was ill; yes, he was very old; no, it's not at all surprising that someone in his condition would pass away. But he said it himself; he said that he thought football was keeping him alive. It is so clear that football was his life. Almost 62 years as a coach at Penn State, 46 of those as head coach. A record number of wins, dozens of awards, multiple conference and national championships--these are successes most of us will never dream of. Football, to JoePa, was not just a job and an impressive income. It was his success, his love, his family, his significance. It was, perhaps literally in this case, what gave him life.

And then, in 2002, Mr. Paterno was faced with something that threatened this life. A former member of his coaching staff and a personal friend of his was accused of a terrible wrongdoing. And he was informed. The responsibility to do something about it was put in his hands. And he was left with a terrible decision: would he do what was right, possibly prevent further wrongdoing, and work to bring about justice? Or would he shrink from this in order to protect his job, his career, his life? I have no idea what Mr. Paterno's thoughts were at this time or how he made his decision. All I know is that he went with the bare minimum; he told his supervisor and washed his hands of the situation. He protected himself and the thing that gave him life.

Of course, we know the ending. This decision was instead what ended his career. He lost his integrity in trying to save his world and lost it in the process. It's a tragedy of storybook proportions, all the more so because I get it. There are things in my life that I look to for meaning, and I know with certainty that I have compromised my integrity to keep those things alive. If we're honest, we all have. For me it's usually other people's approval that I seek, at other times it's success, it's relationships, it's personal comfort. It's any host of things that give our lives meaning. And by the grace of God I've never had to deal with such an enormous choice as Coach Paterno faced, but I know without a doubt that I've made mistakes in the name of the things that I love. My goal is not for a second to rationalize what Mr. Paterno did; instead, it is to condemn myself along with him.

Joe Paterno's career took some effort to uphold, and so does my approval from others. But the thing that actually gives me life doesn't ask me to uphold it. It will never require me to compromise my integrity. It will never fail me. And that is my identity as a child of God, bought with the precious blood of Christ. I may continue to make mistakes in the name of my personal comforts, but I pray that every day I'll continue to focus more and more on the true giver of life who will never ever leave me. Amen.